How To Figure Out Your Relationship With A Relative

One: Each of you figure out your nearest direct relative. This will be a parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, etc. No aunts or uncles here. They are not direct relatives.

Two: Put your relationship to the common relative in the top dropdown box.

Three: Put your relative's relationship to the common relative in the bottom dropdown box.

Four: Click the Find Relationship button, et voila, your relationship is shown.

So let's say a person wants to figure out her relationship with her first cousin's children. Who is the nearest direct relative? It's her grandparents. So in the first dropdown box, scroll to grandchild, because she's the grandchild of their nearest direct relative.

Next, what is that grandparent to the child of the first cousin? Great-grandparent. So in the second box, scroll down to g-grandchild (which stands for great-grandchild).

Click "Find Relationship," and you see that the woman's cousin's children are her first cousins, once removed. Fascinating, eh?

What's a lateral?—A "lateral" in football is a sideways pass. So a lateral relationship is one to the side of the direct relationship. Your parents are direct in line in your genealogy, while your parents' brothers or sisters are to the side or lateral. (Remember, your parents' siblings are your aunts and uncles.) So a lateral relation is an aunt/uncle-niece/nephew relationship. Next comes grandaunts, great-grandaunt, etc.

What about 'removed'?—Many people call the children of their first cousins their second cousins, but this is wrong, and here's why.

Start with parents. If the nearest direct relative of two boys is a parent, they are brothers.

If the nearest direct relative of two boys is a grandparent, they're first cousins.

If the nearest direct relative of two boys is a great-grandparents, they're second cousins.

So you see that to be second cousins, you share the same great-grandparent. Third cousins share great-great-grandparents, and so on.

The relationship is always determined by the nearest direct relative. That means the nearest direct relative that you share with the children of your first cousin is their great-grandparent, who is your grandparent. The only difference is your cousin's children are one generation away, or removed, as it's called in the parlance of genealogy.

The link to the chart below shows it all laid out like attorneys who deal with wills often have.

Chart—Rather have a printer-friendly chart of it all? Sorry, don't have one yet, but maybe I'll make one someday. For now, you could use the one at http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/1769/, where you'll also find more information about genetics and such.